But many of you may not have received that type of consistent praise a long time ago.
Here’s the good news: While you can’t undo being told that you were less than, being rejected or even possibly abandoned as a young person, you can make damn sure to have empathy for yourself and say nice things about yourself as an adult today.
While that desire is totally understandable, it should be a mild desire.
In most cases, this sense of desperation comes from a fear that if you don’t seal the deal immediately and develop a cement-like bond, that individual will slip through your fingers and you will be left all alone, never to meet anyone again whom you really like.
You idealize your new date and believe this one’s going to be different from all the rest.
When you idealize someone, you see them as all-good or all-perfect.
As a parent, for example, I can’t tell you the number of times each week I tell my 5 and 7-year-old kids how smart, sweet and all-around awesome they are.
If you grow up with that praise on a daily basis, odds are that you’ll carry those positive internal voices with you into adulthood – and into your romantic relationships. Do you get your hopes up only to have them dashed – no, obliterated – soon after? Moving too quickly early in dating is one of the most widespread dating problems for men and women alike.