I arrived at the office earlier than my boss this morning. Looking to the future with a positive focus promotes the well-known attitude of gratitude that’s so helpful. I look forward to my favorite television show tonight. Perhaps you blame other people who are involved with your adult children. Forgiving freely, without requiring an act of contrition, (such as an apology or admission), was particularly beneficial.
Holding one’s forgiveness hostage to some act or condition was associated with psychological distress and symptoms of depression. Accepting the reality of an adult child’s abandonment, and your helplessness to change it, may feel like letting go of hope.
Even if you were perfect, your partner would make you out to be completely messed up. They can be funny, easy-going, exciting, attractive. You feel a pull to them, and they make you feel special. They act as if they are the smartest, hottest, richest or most successful person and everyone knows it. You did something wrong first to make them explode.
If he or she does something that is clearly wrong, they will find a way to turn it back around on you. They will even tell you this if they get the chance. The police have always been out to get them even though they never do anything wrong.
Reconciliation may eventually take place, but in the present, accepting what’s happened allows you to make the most of your life now.
Of course, your partner is allowed to do whatever he or she wants and you are not allowed to question them, but they will control everything you do. You can’t control what happened to them, and you can’t solve it for them. One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children.